I was walking through a park in the middle of the city and I saw someone who looked familiar.
“Could it be him?!”, I thought.
But then my brain connected the dots: that person wouldn’t be here. He’s afraid of flying!
Haha.
Here.
But wait!
“Where is ‘here’?”
I wondered confused for a split second, until I looked at my left and saw the castle of Edinburgh just sitting there on top of a mountain and then I remembered. It’s the end of September, and I’m in Scotland for the weekend. My mind has been everywhere and so has my body lately, and I felt positively lost for a moment. Travelling through time zones, swapping bikinis for scarves within a day, going from street food breakfasts to potato based dinners. Life has been eventful – and isn’t exactly that I’ve always asked for?
Yes. Yes, it is!
It was a New Year’s resolution I confess I didn’t know I would be able to keep up with, and though a mild concern for my finances next year somewhat ping on my mind from time to time, I am committed to living today and carrying on with the feels. The tides have been high and low, and on both I have swam, strengthened, survived.
At each take off and each arrival, a new feeling, a new variable gets looked at, checked out, revised, reshaped. Life, work, friends, family, status, house. All the elements that makes one a fully functioning full grown adult in present day life is looked at in a near desperate attempt to understand if I am actually doing okay. It is anxious, of course, but after so many years of foul modus operanti, it is how healthy move forward looks like. And I wouldn’t have it any other way, I admit.
House?
Under revision
Family?
Closer, but under revision
Inner circle?
Under revision
Work?
Under development
Status?
Happily single by choice.
I know the quality of my love, and without the above at least seemingly sorted, I can’t open the doors to anyone. I’m close though, and that’s exciting.
My year has been nothing if a whole renovation project and I am beyond grateful for the possibilities I’ve created for myself to make everything happen, for each choice made towards keeping it going, and for every person I met along the way. It’s been an incredible journey so far, and though I have no idea of what lies ahead, I know one thing is absolutely certain: my ground is firm, my mind is strong, and I am ready.
And as the winds of change blow stronger, I just ask the universe to please please let me keep and sharpen the best parts of me. The spark in my eyes, the kindness in my heart, an open mind. And I beg life to be kind enough to give me time!
I rejoice in finding peace and balance in the silence, and I know how incredible days look like. I am committed to settling down, and for nothing short than this exciting, life giving thing I am lucky to call my life!
Grateful.
