How much do you trust someone?
Growing up with the law of the jungle in place has taught us that trust is something that only a few deserve and almost nobody gets. Over the years, I saw the two sides of the coin and I felt under our skin how much damage mistrust can cause in one’s life. However, as much as I witnessed the downers of such blindness, I also saw the peaks of believing in someone and the joy and character it brought to ourselves, so when the time came to make a real choice, we chose to follow the latter.
The cheating world of lies in our life belongs to what we call the dark side of our blood. We’ve always tried to take distance from them, but mandatory symbiosis has never allowed us to. Conventions, conventions… this has screwed us over more times than those of being a true bitch to someone who really deserves it. Besides the damage buried deep in our soul, the dark was filled with a jealousy that destroyed everything around – family, friends and everyone else who was not themselves. There was no such a thing as a blood connection or a familiar relationship – everyone was guilty and deserving of suffering by one’s hands. And so they lived and still do.
I have always despised the dark side. Besides one of them being present in the day I was born, they have all always disgusted me. The way they talk, walk, laugh and behave towards other people, full of disrespect and extreme lack of consideration for others was back then a reason for us to lock ourselves in the bedroom and only come out for severe necessities while they were around. Everyone was a target and once so were we. Several times we were hit by their lack of scrupulousness, but this is a story for another time.
The good part is that, often, every dark side has a bright one right next to it. And in this case, it wasn’t any different. Our bright side was filled with joy, love, care and respect. Loyalty was and still is one of its pillars and pride takes over the names of its members. The bright side has always been our greatest happiness and the reason why we’ve become who we are. So many chances we had to bend to shadows, but still the light in our lives was stronger and their voices clearer on the path we should take. So we did.
Life hasn’t been easy with trust and belief, though. So much we’ve laid our heart on someone’s words and actions only to see them turning into ashes in their hands. We saw our dreams vanishing and our plans driving away. We were told that we were naive and that we “should have known”. How could we if we faithfully chose to see your words as real? Things didn’t make sense, but life was showing that we were a fool.
Over and over again, I saw us having to rebuild a part of our life which was destroyed by another’s words and actions. Over and over again I asked her how much longer could we stand all of it before we collapsed entirely and for real. And over and over again, she chose to lead us through the only way that mattered: the path of truth.
Our hears, then, remain with trust. So much we feared a life of bitterness and sorrows, but we know what has brought us here. We follow the road of the choice we made long ago, when we learned that a handshake was enough confirmation. We believe in people and that won’t ever change. And as many times we fall we will again restart, with our mind and hearts, even if destroyed. We will find the strength to re-glue the pieces and to give it another chance. They say darkness sometime will get to me, but in fact I truly know that goodness is the only way. And, thus, we go.
