Questions

Oh my, oh my
is it left or is it right
which one should I decide
either side is just so bright
although both cannot suffice

Oh my, oh my
many variables in place
doubts flying through a race
nothing leave a single trace
trying to run from disgrace

Oh my, oh my
heart, head, soul and mind
all confused and disguised
suddenly left petrified
moving, yet paralysed

Oh my, oh my
how am I to run away
the thought alone makes me insane
to leave this life, just so tame
to treat this fear as just a flake

Oh my, oh my
decisions I need to make
the choices and the paths to take
questions as an earthquake
I fear that I will break

Oh my, oh my
it all makes sense now
it’s me what it is all about
the future will always remain a doubt
and so the sky will clear away these clouds

Apatias

Numa manhã
de um dia nublado
tinha mil pensamentos embaralhados

Estava no meio do caminho
tantas ruas, nenhum destino
não queria se perder

Acreditou no presente
focou, pediu, implorou
tentou se orientar

Quantas vozes, tantas perguntas
o quê será dessa jornada?
não soube dar o que queriam

Desejava plenitude
a mesma paz que tanto via
queria acreditar nela
e saber que no final viria

Perguntou-se, pois, o que seria
do amanhã, do mês que vem, e do ano que seguia
conhecia o que temia
não bastava.

Precisava encontrar um foco
estava em todos os lados
tocava todos os cantos
o mesmo que em lugar nenhum

No meio do caminho havia uma dúvida
que pausava a vida
desacelerava o coração
e agitava a cabeça

Num suspiro profundo
à evitar o absurdo
pensou naquele que a sorria

Contou 1, dois, 3
olhou o relógio
e seguiu com o dia.

Dreams

I had a dream about a girl who was pretty and sweet. She was beloved by many and as innocent as a young woman can be. She didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, she didn’t lie or betray. She was a pure and kind soul to anyone she encountered.

One day, while walking on the streets, she spotted a handsome male looking at her. He had a sharp look, but she didn’t gazed long. She wasn’t ready for boys. Her routine continued and they met again by surprise. The began to talk, shared a table and different talks. She left on with her mind wondering about staying.

A week had passed when they saw each other again. This time, he invited her to meet at night, go out for a dance and a bit of fun. She wasn’t a girl of the nights, but she agreed that she needed a break. Acceptances and preparations took place.

They met at a local club. Danced a bit, got a drink or two. She needed to drive back, so no alcohol for her. She wore nice heels and a beautiful party dress. Couple of hours gone and her rhythm began to change. She got slow, and the floor started to blur. She felt like faint and retired to the entrance. A woman came to help, when the guy backed her off. She herd him saying that all she needed was her boyfriend and no one else.

Deep breath and another one. And suddenly, it was all gone.

Lights everywhere, red and blue colouring the streets. She could barely see. Chattering people, screams of horror. She didn’t know what to think until she realised those eyes on her. She didn’t know where she was, but she felt her body in deep pain. Some warmth between her legs, she raised her hands only to see it covered in red. She fainted nothing but scared.

A lightening came through her head and her eyes opened to stare. Two familiar worried faces in front of her, the mom, the dad and tears without an explanation. She focused to feel her toes but the response told her that something was wrong. Questions came along with the doctor who had just come in. She didn’t know anything. Last think she remembered was being happy and then dozing off. As the explanations landed, it was all a horror movie.

He put her in the his car and got inside her. He raped her in the backseat while she was asleep. He promised to take care of her, instead, he was taking all he could. Hours later, when he was gone, her eyes began to open. He couldn’t be in trouble, he couldn’t be charged. He started the car, stepped down to fast forward and threw her out of the car along the way. He hoped she would never awake.

The news were everywhere: “slut shamed”, they said. “got what she deserved”, they shouted. While she would never walk again, her ears and eyes were all she wanted shut. “She shouldn’t be out alone so late”, they wrote. “look what she was wearing? she was asking for it!”, they guessed.

No words about the guy, no saying about the rapist. She was gone but it didn’t matter. She cried but nobody saw.
Her story was changed into a lie served raw.

I woke up in pain. Wishing it was only a dream, wishing it was something that it wasn’t real. But as dreams sometimes reflect our wild wishes, they also portrait the reality around us, bringing up the terrors and the fears the lie the deepest inside ourselves.

#metoo

Misturas

O cenáriocropped-autumn_leaves_PNG3582-3.png
a música
as curvas ao vento.
Os cachos dourados
o sorriso estampado
a incredulidade presente.
A fusão de cores
a criação de odores
a paisagem perfeita.
O coração acelerado
temia não estar de fato
a presenciar tal grandiosidade.
Uma natureza formatada
por mãos
nem de ouro ou prata
pra construir a unidade.
E ela
ah, ela!
Maravilhada em corpo e alma
queria ali fazer morada
em dias de sol
e nas noites estreladas
As belezas de seu mundo
pequeno, baixo, sem muros
lhe encantavam sem mesuras.
No fim
não viu mais nada.
nem o tempo
ou o cansaço
ou o que viria.
As misturas eram reais.
e ela fazia parte delas.
Olhou pra trás
registrou o poema
prometeu-se retornar
e saiu de cena.

Sentidos

O que se perde, o que se vaicropped-autumn_leaves_PNG3582-2.png
não se controla, apenas sai
gritos de desespero
chamados para dar-se um jeito

Significados perdidos
de vida, de amor, de sonhos já tardios
impossíveis em aparência
queimados, sem resistência

O passado, inexplicado, e o agora
parece que sim, é chegada a hora
de rumar, libertar o coração
de confiar que nada disso foi em vão

Prepotência, impaciência, o cansaço
o que passou deixou agora só o bagaço
que embora doce não se pode mais consumir
e que levou a essência do querer existir

Sem razão e sem planos
o silêncio segue racionando os anos
e o que outrora parecia certo e comprometido
tira hoje a paz da mente e confunde
o que antes fazia tanto sentido.

Chaos

When everything becomes a faint
and you still try to explain
the blur of words attempt to come out
but only silence bring what’s loud

A life, a try, a shared tear
all in quest, with such a fear
holding on or letting go
a question to the very status quo

Many doubts in a single heart
many games but only draws
no winner could come out alive
no harm but to one’s pride

With tomorrow then divided
and today already outlined
no answers, only requests
nothing to hold on to but to do your best

A past hand in hand with today
addressing those fears from last May
firing chaos and shouts and disgrace
when the words that we should praise
ask, without fear
is please, dear, please stay.

Bright

Whatever is your light, let it shine
feel the world energy in the wind
let it blow through your veins
feel the breeze, crave for it
block whatever comes in vain.

Whatever is your mood, lift it up
it can be mild, it can be sharp
you can always scale it higher
extend your friendly hand
show others what it is to be a friend.

Whatever it is that you believe
a little, a lot or just a bit
find its source in your inner self
dig deeper into your heart
hold it close, it’s just the start.

Whenever your solitude feels too great
remember, please, it is not fate
neither your fault nor mistake
I can tell you, it’s just a phase
you only need a little bit of faith.

Whenever you feel like in despair
if you feel that nothing else is out there
grab your life by its balls
tell yourself you will not fall
stand up straight, it is your call.

No matter what sort of day you have
happy, plain, confused or sad
remember you are human and deserving
forget the wrong, focus on right
dress up on your better version
and witness the beauty
of your entire soul turning bright.

Silence

 

There’s a song in the silence inside of my head
a song of peace, lyrics of resistance
it goes from the start to the end
and rolls over and over again

There’s a song fulfilling my soul
words of freedom, praises to joy
it starts and ends on the opening eyes
it comes back in the morning and stay till the starts

There’s a song in the silence of my sadness
words of consolation, tales of forgiveness
its key is pressed on a lower note
the deep grave reminding me of quotes

The little words today spoken
belong to the silence of a heartbroken
which by sadness has been consumed
from hurting words said with no gloom

And the song in the silence insists on replay
trying to lift the spirits, send bad ones away
but the real issues are in the guts, look this way
the house of those feelings that
as it looks like
came to stay.

Resistência

 

Tucropped-autumn_leaves_PNG3582-3.png
que me atiras no peito
que não aprendeu que o respeito
é de todos um direito.

Tu
que defendes o teu dinheiro
que pensas como um chiqueiro
que não sabe o que é verdadeiro.

Tu
que incitas o ódio e o medo
que vives a procurar despeitos
que atacas e deixa marcas sobre o passeio.

Tu
não sabes o quanto me dói
em ver uma depressão que corrói
tudo o que por ódio se destrói.

Tu
que te informes ligeiro
que não te acomodes em teu asseio
pois não o deixaremos como modelo

Tu
que te lembres dos dias
e das noites sem melodia
pois o teu carnaval é agora a nossa poesia

Tu
que saibas que somos muitos
que não deixaremos ao absurdo
tamanho ataque ao nosso mundo

Pois hoje
gente de todos os tipos
o nosso ideal se faz forte
unido, fortalecido, de grande porte
não importa a tua competência
una-se já, à nossa resistência.

Resist

 

A word, a melody, the days. cropped-autumn_leaves_PNG3582-3.png

In a world of empty fantasies, she lived without question. She thought of her luck on meeting the right man, living in the right house, raising her beautiful children. She guarded her Sundays to church, her mouth to healthy eats and her best to the ones she saw as equal. She praised the Name in every second, thought of guiding all around to the same path, and never took any no for an answer. All money could buy was on her hands. All was within range.

A man walked on her direction. Dark skin, dirty clothes, desperate and famished. He heard of the woman who had everything, helped everyone and lived by the Name. He approached her for help. “Some food”, he begged. She gazed away in excuses. Hopped in her car, left without bruises. The man cried in the absurd.
“How could one live by the Name and not help others?”, he thought. “How could I live empty?”, he wondered.

Little he knew that her emptiness was greater than his and that while his stomach remained empty, her soul was going in vain.
Little he knew that his soul full of poetry and marks of a tearing life had more compassion for others than the ones with the money at hand.
Little he knew that nothing of that mattered, and that the true grace was to live on clean consciousness, with endless acceptance.

The ignorance in the world makes my words little. Silence is all that is in my head. My heart mourns for the ones who need a hand. My soul craves for justice and understanding.

But today, and even if it’s short, our poetry becomes light and our ideals enough for a fight.

Screw the ones who look down on others
Screw the money you make on the sweat of your brothers
Screw the ignorant and the rich
Resist, my friend, I insist.